Do Not Adjust Your Computer

I interrupt this regularly scheduled series on forgiveness to bring you the following fun family fotos from ten years ago....I am having a blast with old pictures and my scanner.....

Joshua

Caleb being launched across the pool by dad

Get your head out of the sand....

If you think this photo is funny,

you might find it even funnier that I left him like that to run back to the hotel room and retrieve my camera.

Detour

Some offenses that we have to forgive have huge life changes attached to them. Like you are in your car, driving down the road, then out of nowhere BAAAM! you are pushed off the road and forced to go in another direction or even stop. Some of these changes might be "small" like an argument, family conflict or a failed business venture or "huge" like a family rift, loss of a relationship, job, freedom, health or even life. For me, the struggle with forgiveness over an offense with such ramifications is that it looks like someone has invaded my destiny and taken over control. I've at times questioned "can man change the will of God in my life?". Even though circumstances may appear "Yes!", and it feels like "Yes!", I believe that if you have surrendered your life to Christ, the answer is "No!". When I was hurting and confused, this was hard to figure out. What brought me peace was running to the Lord for truth. I love the truth. Even if it hurts. I can't stand for someone to say one thing to me but I know it's not true. In my particular situation, no truth was given to me from the offending party so I sought the Lord for it. Those of us who belong to God live in two different worlds at one time, the natural and the supernatural. I was getting no healing in the natural; I found it in the supernatural. God spoke to me, and then I understood that this detour was for the best. We can look at a circumstance and only see what we see, a small part, and often not even reality because our hearts can deceive us. God sees everything. Asking for His perspective was key. I did not want to go through the changes that happened in my life, but having His word in my heart brought peace about my detour. I trusted God. I felt secure. I knew He'd never leave me. Never forsake me. He'd provide for my family. He'd heal the wounds caused by man. I had to let a lot go in the natural, but I knew that God was at work in the Spirit.

Some really wonderful things can come out of dark places. Forced detours are not always "bad". It could be the only way we would make changes that would push us further along the path God ordained for us. Here's a fresh example. A friend that I love recently had some trouble and landed himself in jail. An arrest, huge bail, court date, all that. But in the process he bowed his knee, re-united with his family, and began a journey of restoration.

I believe that God's blessing are everywhere. On the mountain and in the valley. In the bright places and in the dark places. Sometimes we have to look for them, search them out, but if God is in our life, His goodness is there too.

The anniversary of forgiveness

Two years ago this week, my husband and I were hurt badly by someone we loved. Not just loved, but trusted and served. The actions of this person toward us resulted in not only the loss of that relationship, but because of the nature of the connection, loss of finances, community, ministries, and friendships we'd spent a year building. Our entire lives were changed in one fail swoop while the offending party went on their merry way. While forgiveness was never asked of me, I gave it, and in the process learned many good things.

I know many of you have also experienced abuse. When it comes from someone in authority over you... a parent, a husband, a boss, a pastor, a teacher... it can be an especially hard pill to swallow. When it comes from someone who professes to love the Lord, it's confusing. When a person is supposed to love you, and rejects you instead, it can rattle your identity. Abuse devastates the heart. Physical, sexual, emotional, verbal...it's all bad. Unless we bring the broken pieces of our hearts to the feet of Jesus, it can continue to be bad... for days, months, years, decades.

This week I'll be sharing some of the things God taught me during my own journey of forgiveness, and I welcome your testimonies as well.

I Wanna Be Yours

Lyrical recital dance, Ballet His Way 2001. Choreographed and taught by Regina Lewis.

Back to square one

Bo made it safely to Fort Lee. He had another sweet moment at the Richmond airport. He was sitting outside, waiting on the shuttle, on the phone with me, when a guy in his 60s saw him, walked up, and handed him a 20 dollar bill. The man was quiet and red-faced. Bo tried to return it, he wouldn't allow it. Bo said "thank you, sir, thank you, sir" and the man said "no, soldier, thank you". I can imagine that perhaps this sweet soul might have, maybe even lost, a son of his own to the military.

Once Bo got to the post, all the sunniness turned dark. He is back to being treated like a peon. He says the sargents are mean and the soldiers are all mad. He had to dump out all his stuff, and the sargents went through it and took his pain pills (even though they are prescription) and his food and water. He was told that his AIT starts next Tuesday, not next month. Think that blows our plans for leave out of the water, but it also means he'll be home in about eight weeks. He's in "reception", the processing building. He'll move soon to a permanent facility and hopefully then things will be better.

Virginia Bound

Bo is on a plane, seated in first class, headed toward Richmond, Virginia. He'll travel from there to Fort Lee. I praise God for this moment, for we really had to fight and pray and trust that this would happen!

Bo's training doesn't start until April 24th. He will request a leave to come home for 10 days as soon as he gets settled there on post. The kids are out of school for spring break next week. I hope he will be here with us! Maybe we can even make it to the beach....ahhh, I can hear the waves now.....

Good News

Bo met with the brain specialist yesterday and we have good news. After some more neuro and "remote memory" testing, the doctor determined that Bo does not have permanent damage to his brain. Praise God! He is still having some symptoms, but they should resolve within twelve months. The doctor did notice some decreased right side motor function that is normal with a left lobe injury and is recommending some rehab. I'm supposed to mail him word finds and crossword puzzles! She also wants him to have some speech therapy to helping with slurring of words. He's always talked fast so I'm not sure this is a new problem! She cleared him to ship out for AIT (job training). He leaves Thursday for Fort Lee, Virginia. He had to change his MOS (job) to something less dangerous than field artillery, so he will now be a supply specialist. It should be a low stress job, with good hours and weekends and holidays off. He'll be able to count and arrange stuff to his heart's content.

Sick baby

Do any of you follow "McMama's" blog? Please pray for baby Stellan. He is in the hospital with a dangerous heart rate that the doctors have been unable to stabilize.

One for the money....

two for the show....

three to get ready.....

and four to go!

Army Update

I know it's been a while since I've updated on Bo's health. I am happy to be able to report good news! Bo's medical hold is coming to an end next week. He was cleared by the medical review board, which is a big praise because his civilian neurologist was recommending medical discharge. The results from his cat scans, MRIs, EKGs, and blood tests came in, and Bo was diagnosed with "post-traumatic brain trauma", resulting from his head injury in January. Symptoms are headaches, paranoia, and memory loss. The seizure Bo had the day after his fall created some concern that Bo had a "mild form of epilepsy". The army doctors examined Bo and disagreed with the civilians, thought the seizure was related to the head trauma, and determined that Bo was healing well and able to continue to work. It was stressful for us thinking that Bo might not be able to continue his army career, but we were greatly encouraged by the support he received from his superiors. All his sargents testified of his hard work (he's been working at the battery headquarters since he was discharged from the hospital), his good character, and his leadership qualities. The information and support from his command helped Bo build a case to stay in the army and kept him encouraged in spite of the 95% chance of discharge. I told Bo that was man's word, let's wait and see what God had to say, and to see that 5% chance of staying in turn to 100% was a miracle! It was wonderful for me to hear how Bo was affirmed and encouraged by his friends, sargents, and commanders as we waited on the decision. He was told that he was " a good man", and that "bad things happen to good people" . He was moved to private quarters, given special privileges, and was assured by every person he worked for that they would fight for him. I think the love he received will go a long way in healing old wounds of unfair treatment from past jobs. The army thinks he fits just fine, and will serve his country and his family well. Oooo-aaaahhh.