Spiritual Hospitals

Last night a friend and I discussed being wounded by the church. I know this experience is a reality for many families, but God is a Healer and a Restorer and can mend any wound in our lives. I have a desire to minister to those who've been wounded by the church. I've always thought that churches should be hospitals, well probably not the entire focus of ministry because that would be unbalanced for a church, but at least have an element of ministry that was specific for those who needed healing. A small group, a bible study, or a series of sermons.....something that addressed the need.

Years ago our family had to leave everything behind to move to a new town for Bo's job. Our hearts were broken, not by the church, but by circumstances and relational issues that were extremely difficult. God led us to a church affiliated with Hillsong Church in Australia. We attended that church for ten weeks and found God's healing touch in the powerful worship. We just sat in God's presence while He healed our hearts. We didn't serve there, didn't help in the nursery, didn't join any group. We never even really met anyone there. At the end of the ten weeks, we were strengthened and encouraged and moved on to the next phase of our lives.

This morning in prayer, it occurred to me that the Albany area has a great need for a spiritual hospital. Just as we'd need a physical hospital for a major wound in our bodies, wouldn't it be great to have a place to go for healing in our souls? A place that focused on ministering the love of God that brings healing and restoration.

God, may it be. Send the doctors and the nurses who can pour your love out on wounded hearts.

Occupational Hazard

Apparently it's the duty of every expectant mom to endure the embarrassment and inconvenience of constantly dropping things. Cruel irony, because it's difficult to bend over to pick anything up! Well, today's incident was the baby's fault.

I was at the library with Noah and Joshua. Just as I was leaning over the counter, handing the librarian DVDs, a sudden violent kick from Isaac startled me. I jumped and gasped and literally threw the movies on the librarian. I told her I was so sorry and she graciously picked up the movies and continued her work. I'm thinking "get me out of here!".

Chill, baby baby!

Eleven weeks to go......

My sweet friend Heather took some fabulous pregnancy photos for me this weekend. Here is one. We are both photographers and enjoy practicing our craft on each other's bellies and babies.

Isaac continues to bounce around like a gymnast in my womb, making his presence known. Feeling the baby move has got to be the best part of pregnancy. The weight gain, backache, and low energy level all tie for the worst. But, a small price to pay for such a huge blessing.

I have concerns about delivering my baby in Albany and would appreciate your prayers. I am realizing that most obstetricians in Albany are quick to do c-sections, especially if the mom has already had one (Caleb was my Cesarean baby). I want as natural a birth as possible, without lots of intervention. The doctors in Dothan are less c-section happy and they support family oriented births. I prefer to deliver in Dothan and am praying for God's perfect will to be done.

Baby Update

Here is Isaac's sonogram pic from yesterday's OB appointment, which went great. I took and passed my glucose test and according to their scales only gained two pounds since last month's visit. I am 28 weeks and measured the same, so although I look big, I am right on track.

Baby Isaac is doing great! He's 2 pounds, 11 ounces. The sonogram was to check the position of my placenta, which had been low, but has since moved away from my cervix. It's actually right beside Isaac's face and prevented good 4D images. I saw him yawn twice during the ultrasound. His tongue shot out when his mouth was wide open. It was so cute. I guess he's pretty comfy in there, all snuggled up, using my placenta as a pillow, taking long naps. And, as usual, his hand was up by his face. It will be interesting to see if he continues that habit outside the womb. Baby is head down, which explains that all the punching in my ribs is from little feet. He had hiccups over the weekend; my friend Laura got to feel those.

Wardrobe Challenges

Okay, I'm wondering....what is the deal with maternity clothes??? First, they don't fit. You're stuck in between regular clothes that are too small, and maternity clothes that are too big. No pants worked for me until about five months, unless I could endure the constant sliding down the hips as the day went on. The new styles fit under the belly, but what if there is no belly yet to hold them up???? Then finally in the second trimester, some relief. Everything fit. Shirts fit, pants fit, of course you need a new bra, everything is growing. Now my current challenge, the last trimester. The clothing I so anxiously waited to fill out, now is too small! Something is either hanging out of the top or hanging out of the bottom. Being seven months pregnant in a South Georgia heat wave, you kinda don't care what's hanging out, but I do have teenage sons so I try not to embarrass them to smithereens. It seems maternity clothing has a "shelf life" of about eight weeks! Somebody invent a better system!

Brother Love

Noah got to feel Isaac move for the first time! Usually my active four-year-old doesn't have the patience to wait with his hand on my belly, but this time was a winner. Isaac moved under Noah's hands and Noah said "he's tickling me!". Then he laid his head on my bare abdomen and got kicked in the face! Next step was to put his mouth on my belly button to communicate with his unborn sibling. Guess my protruding navel is the microphone or something. He asked Isaac how old he was.

Baby Face

Here is a sonogram of Isaac's face. It may be hard to make out, but it's a shot of his face looking straight on, and his right hand is beside his cheek. My favorite part though, is his mouth. It looks like it's open and he is smiling! :)

I feel like I'm the queen of sonograms with this pregnancy. I've had six so far. One at 8 weeks following a car accident; another at 12 weeks to confirm the pregnancy with my new OB; one at 16 weeks to allow a friend and her ultrasound class to practice 2nd trimester scans on a real pregnant subject; then another a week later with Dr. Edwards, Albany's only perinatalogist, to check for genetic abnormalities because I'm over 35; the routine 20 week sonogram at the OB (this one was my favorite, because Bo was with me, and the technician wanted to practice her 4D scanning because I was her only patient that morning....favor!); and another with Dr. Edwards to follow up and get better pictures of the heart (my friend Stephanie went with me to this one, she is friends with Dr. Edwards and I thought her presence might lighten the mood...Dr. Edwards is very technical and serious and is lacking warm bedside manner. Together we tried to crack him but it didn't work. He told me to be more careful in my choice of friends! :)

I have yet another sonogram next week, at 28 weeks, to check on my placenta. It was low-lying and they want to make sure it's moved out of the way to allow delivery. Can't wait to see my little man again!

Fear Not

One of the blessings of crisis is the revelation of God's love. In the midst of tribulation and distress, God quiets our hearts with His love (Zephaniah 3:17). God never ever removes His love from us, and if we will keep our faces turned to Him, we can learn more about His unfailing love. Just ask Him to show you His love, in new and fresh ways that you've never experienced. Last night I had a dream about my earthly father who passed away less than a year ago. He was holding me and loving me and listening to all my struggles. I know God gave me this dream to reveal the security that comes from His love; something I have not known in the natural, God is teaching me in the supernatural.

1 John 4;18 says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."

God's love will perfect our love toward Him, and when our love is perfected, all fear is cast out. There is no room left for fear because God's love fills us up. To the degree that I love Him, to that degree fear no longer has room in my soul. I feel safe, secure, cherished....... and it's so much easier to trust Him in the storm.

Baby Baby

I have been having a blast with Isaac this week! I'm now 26 weeks, at the point where fetal movements are very defined and I'm loving it! I not only feel kicks, but bounces, rolls, and squirms (is that a word?). Anyway, out of the blue I'll get punched from the inside and can feel little parts.... knees, elbows, etc. moving around. I can also feel him move from one side of my belly to the other. At times it's strong enough to make me flinch. Playtime in the womb has turned into gymnastics class! That's fine with me. I'm bonding with my son.

Hezekiah

I love the truths revealed to us in the Old Testament. All four of my children have Hebrew names of faithful, godly men from generations past. A study of Hezekiah in Isaiah 38 and 39 convicted my heart of some fleshly responses that need to be purified from my life. Maybe this will minister to you, too....

Hezekiah was the king of Judah and was a godly man. He loved the Lord, and purged the land of idolatry. He was miraculously delivered from life-threatening sickness. However, there came a time that the Lord tested Him; actually two times, He was tested once and passed, he was tested again and failed. Those of us who know the testing fires of God have learned that He sends the pain for a purpose, one being to create a greater dependence on Him, and after removing the fire from our lives, He will test the gold to see how pure it is. Let's look....

In Isaiah 36 and 37, Assyria tried to invade Judah. Hezekiah cried out to God to intervene and God sent glorious deliverance. But in Isaiah 39, the test is a little closer to home. Envoys from Babylon came to the king, with gifts and compliments and smiles. Hezekiah is not ready for this test that comes in such a friendly fashion. Without seeking the counsel of God, He welcomes the ambassadors into his house and shows them all his treasures, "the silver and gold, the spices and precious ointments, and all his armory-all that was found among his treasures". Hezekiah was seduced by the attention, not realizing that the king of Babylon had a political agenda to use Hezekiah to strengthen their ties with Assyria. God used the right circumstances to surface pride in his heart. The attention and approval of man took priority over dependence on God. The main symptom of spiritual pride is sincere decision making without consulting God.

This story speaks to me about the temptation to relax our dependence on God in the presence of the familiar. Like Hezekiah, it is easy to rely on God in the threat of an enemy army, but the greatest test of our hearts comes in the presence of friends and loved ones. Do we engage the same dependence on God in our relationships with our husbands, parents, children, leaders, friends? If not, we may have developed "soul ties" with those whom we desire love and acceptance from. In other words, we give part of ourselves to man, when our entire hearts should belong to God.

It is not an easy thing, but God wants us to lose confidence and dependence on the flesh, and rely on Him implicitly for every area of decision in our lives. He wants to lead and counsel us on every issue that comes to our hearts, whether blatantly obvious or deceptively subtle.

From my journal:
Lord, forgive me for grieving Your heart by giving my dependence away to anyone other than You. I confess my fear of man, which Your word says is a snare. I realize that fear of man's rejection causes me to allow access to the tender, vulnerable places of my heart, which belong to You. Like Hezekiah, I've allowed my treasures- my gifts, talents, anointing, trust- to be made available to those whom I desire approval from, without seeking You first. Your acceptance and approval is all I need. Be the King of my heart.